July 2010
1 post
“You don’t have to be a millionaire,
With a mansion full of art.
I just want someone to sing me a love song.
If you’d sing me a love song.
A simple, tender, love song.
You’d steal my heart.”
June 2010
4 posts
1 tag
Fine, Fresh, Fierce. We got it on top.
3 tags
Why is everyone under the sun getting married……
I mean I’m not …. and I’m not bitter…. I’m not ….. for real… this isn’t sarcasm …
but really …. why is this happening?
Tonys. Tonys. Tonys. Tonys.
May 2010
2 posts
What you talkin' 'bout, Caleb?
I’m really crazy right now. It’s late and I’ve exceeded my calorie intake for the next two days. I was going to do some crunches, so I could convince myself that morbid obesity wouldn’t set in while I slept, but now I’m too tired. I’ll just count all the effort it took me to eat all that food as my workout for the day. Yeah, that’ll work. I mean it sure as...
OH. MY. GAGA.
That’s all I have to say…..
April 2010
1 post
I wanted to be asleep hours ago.
doubledoors:
I don’t think I have had any serious rest in weeks.
Sometimes I just wish I wasn’t living the life based on the novel Push, by Sapphire.
“Wh… Wh…Who… Who who…. Who gonna love me? Who gonna love me? Hmmm Wh.. Who was gonna make me feel good?” … Oh Monique
March 2010
3 posts
So I was at Walmart .....
just chillin’ in the movie section, and thats when it happened
Girl and her posse: * clogs up one side of the isle*
Me: *in my head* oh I’ll just stand here and look at the movies for a bit longer, and wait for these girls to leave so I don’t have to shove my cart past them.
*a little later*
Girl and her posse: *doesn’t move* Me: *looks at them for a second* *in my...
I often believe that
some women need to invest in the gift of silence, and by some women I mean high school girls.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
I’m 19 so you know what that means! …. I can do absolutely nothing more than I could do last year! …. I mean …. wait….. fuck…
February 2010
3 posts
The best thing about the weekends....
that my roommate goes home and I can walk around my dorm naked, while listening to Gaga…… oh yeah… and when you come over :D
I am on so many prescription medications right now, I feel like Lil’ Wayne after he’s had some “Purple Drank”.
I just met a girl named "Ebony Cox"
January 2010
1 post
Hey Fried Green Tomatoes,
Thanks for being there when I need you……
Oh and thanks for all the undercover lesbianism!
- Caleb Dehne
December 2009
10 posts
Dear Dad,
Thanks for killing the “I’m getting a puppy” dream….. *turns on Susan Boyle singing “I Dreamed A Dream” ….. she understands me…. we are in the same boat…. except she’s an uggers and I’m just a saddened little boy.*
Your slightly hurt son, Caleb Dehne
HOLY SHIT I'M GETTING A PUPPY!
Potential Names?
I’m thinking Ronald (if it’s a boy)
What has Christmas taught me?
That it is not okay to binge eat.
Well, now back to my life of anorexia….
P.s. I don’t really have anorexia…. I really eat a lot, I just “Dance Off the Fat” every night. Really, just check my netflix.
*dances*
Got to look pretty…. Lord knows Santa only dishes out to pretty people…. that naughty and nice stuff is just fluff…. Why do you think children with cleft palates and other orphans don’t get gifts? <——- Too much? Merry Christmas!
SANTA!
Dear Shakira,
Holy fuck do I love “She Wolf”!
-Caleb C.Dehne
Dear "Beaches",
What the fuck, why are you such a perfect movie? I mean, the first like hour and a half is Bette Midler singin’ about tits, and the last half is Barbra Hersey diein’. Whoever created you was a fucking genius.
Sincerely, Caleb Dehne
Shit!
I could listen to “Bad Romance” until the cows come home, and I don’t live anywhere near a farm.
At first when I see you cry, yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile At worst I feel bad for a while, but then I just smile I go ahead and smile
November 2009
3 posts
I love this scene...
Tourvel: Your only five minutes late, but I get so frightened. I become convinced that I’m never going to see you again.
Valmont: My angel.
Tourvel: Is it like that for you too?
Valmont: Yes. At this moment, for example, I’m quite convinced I’m never going to see you again.
Tourvel: (laughing) What?
Valmont: I’m so bored you see. It’s beyond my control.
Tourvel: What do you mean?
Valmont: Well after all it’s been four months. So, what I said, “It’s beyond my control.”
Tourvel: Do you mean you don’t love me anymore?
Valmont: My love had great difficulty outlasting your virtue, it’s beyond my control.
Tourvel: It’s that woman isn’t it?
Valmont: You are quite right; I have been deceiving you with Emilie, among others. It’s beyond my control.
Tourvel: Why are you doing this?
Valmont: There is a woman, not Emilie, another woman. A woman I adore, and I’m afraid she’s insisting that I give you up. It’s beyond my control.
Tourvel: Liar! Liar!
Valmont: You’re quite right, I am a liar. It’s like your fidelity a fact of life no more or less irritating, certainly, beyond my control.
Tourvel: Stop it! Don’t keep saying that.
Valmont: Sorry, beyond my control. Why don’t you take another lover? Whatever you like, it’s beyond my control.
Tourvel: Do you want to kill me?
Valmont: Listen, you’ve given me great pleasure, but I simply cannot bring myself to regret leaving you. It’s the way of the world, quite beyond my control.
My Tumblarity is at 0
I imagine this is how a rape victim feels.
I imagine this is similar to what it feels like to tragically become a quadriplegic.
I imagine this is what feels like to be a woman in the 1800’s.
I imagine this is how Virginia felt when she thought there wasn’t a Santa Clause.
I imagine this is what Billy Ray Cyrus would feel like if Miley hadn’t become famous and brought money...
October 2009
20 posts
I have listend to Total Eclipse of the Heart...
about 24324454 times in the last two days. Why, God Why?
I believe I will call today "Sad Song Sunday".
“Life, and men”, she says. “are hard.”
– Woe is Me
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
Roommate Stories.
1 .So, a couple weeks ago, my roommate went to Florida for Fall Break.
Here’s a little fun fact: Fall Break was a three day weekend, and he drove to Florida. We are in Kentucky!
Anyway, he didn’t come back for a few days, like three days after Fall Break was over. After waking up on the third day, and finding he STILL hadn’t returned, I decided that he had been up ducted while...
Dear Roommate,
Listen, I don’t mind that you have people in the room, let alone have them stay the night. However, I do not like that you let them eat my candy and use my hand sanitizer and blankets.
1. I bought the candy bowl for two reasons. - To add a nice little decoration to my desk area. - To fill it with candy for me to snack on when I am hard at work.
I did not buy it for your little...
I just recieved a card from my mother....
It has a ghost on it and says “What do ghosts play on Halloween?”, and when you open it up it says “Hide and Shriek” along with a note saying “Keep it clean. Love, Mom.”
Oh mother…….
So... the L word.
… and Imma not talking about lesbians.
:D
So I walk into my residential college....
and I’m told by the desk worker that a package arrived for me yesterday. When I get the small manila envelope I read that it is from “Young America. MN”, and I got really excited, because I thought I had won something cool or been accepted into a beauty pageant, you know because Minnesota thrives on that shit. I quickly rip the envelope open and out falls….. a condom. I...
Why am I so old!?!?
- Cookie of choice: Oatmeal Raisin - Drink of choice: Hot tea with honey - Cereal of choice: Quaker Natural Granola with Oats, Honey, and Raisins - What am I currently wearing: Sweater - What am I listening to: Backstreet Boys (okay that one doesn’t count) - Time I went to bed last night: 11:30 <—— There! That is the kicker!
My English Teacher: *writes on chalk board* What does O.W.L.s stand for?
Me: *jumps out of chair* ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL EXAMS!
My English Teacher: No....... Online Writing Labs.
Me: *sits*
Why do people in college not know how to form a fully punctuated sentence? Is this a task that is harder than I am giving it credit?
teaforsara:
readysetgo1991:
This morning I woke up with a headache, I threw-up, and now my stomach keeps making fucked up noises. I think I’m pregnant.
I’m not surprised. You’re a fucking slut
:D
Due to the recent stabs at my sexual promiscuity I feel that a monologue from the made for tv move “Sybil”, staring a young Sally Fields, will best justify my situation.
*clears...
This morning I woke up with a headache, I threw-up, and now my stomach keeps making fucked up noises. I think I’m pregnant.
My Tumbilarity is at 1....
I imagine this is how Sirius Black felt when he was receiving the Dementor’s Kiss.
Too lame?
“I’m a little seal girl living in a real world and it’s so hard to...”
– As Told By Ginger <3
September 2009
32 posts
Raise your hand if your listening to the Celine...
*raises hand*
